Man loses wife to pastor

By SUNDAY ANI (nichsunny@yahoo.com)

“What God has joined together, let no man put asunder,” is a popular verse in the bible, which is probably cited at any Christian wedding ceremony by the officiating priest or pastor. But, when men who join couples together as husband and wife before the children of God in the house of God and who advise them to defend the biblical injunction with their last breath, allow themselves to be the instrument with which such injunction is broken, it raises a lot of questions. When Jude Emeka Isaac from Ogunwukwu village, Ntueke in Ideato South Local Government Area of Imo State walked down the aisle with then Miss Cynthia Osunbor, ‘his sweet sixteen,’ from Igbanke in Edo State, he got the same advice alongside his heartthrob. He went ahead to seal up the injunction with another one like it, ‘till death do us part.’ But all that has been thrown to the wind. Three years after the couple wedded at Ss. Joachim & Anne Catholic Church, Omoroga, FHA Estate Meiran, Agbado-Ijaiye area of Lagos State, the two biblical injunctions have since assumed different meanings to them. Right now, both couples are still alive but they are no longer living together as husband and wife. Their marriage that was joined together by God on November 6, 2010 as witnessed by the congregation at the above-mentioned Catholic Church has been severed by man. That much was revealed by Mr Isaac himself who alleged that a certain pastor (names withheld by us) of one of the Pentecostal churches located at Agbado-Ijaiye, Ojokoro Local Government Area of Lagos State currently co-habits with his wife. 

He alleged that the pastor abandoned his own wife and children and took away his (Isaac’s) wife who already has four children for him, leaving him with the burden of catering for the children alone. According to Mr Isaac, all efforts to get his wife back proved abortive as she had bluntly told him to look for another wife because she was already living with a new husband.

Mr Isaac feels bitter that the relationship, which took him over 18 years to build, was shattered by a man who ordinarily should be in the vanguard campaigning against divorce. But even at that, his case is worse than a divorce. He never divorced his wife. His case could best be described as abduction, although in the true sense of it, he now knows where his wife is but he cannot get her back as the woman according to him, has been hypnotised by the man of God who currently lives with her as her husband.

Going down memory lane, he recounts his relationship with his wife right from the courtship days through their traditional marriage and church wedding up to when things fell apart.

He said: “I courted my wife for six years from 1994 to 2000 before I married her. She is from Igbanke in Edo State but her relatives live in Agbor, Delta State. I met her as Miss Efe Cynthia Osunbor, who was then living with her aunt. I have had four children with her before we wedded on November 6, 2010 at Ss Joachim & Anne Catholic Church, Omoroga, FHA Estate Meiran, Agbado-Ijaiye.  The children are: Chima 12, Uchechi 10, Chimezie 8 and Ugochukwu 6.

I was comfortable when I married her and I tried my best to provide her needs. I decided that she would be a full house wife to take care of our children, so that after they had grown of age, she could choose what to do, but when things became rough, she started acting funny and eventually eloped with a pastor.”

Cynthia did not just wake up and elope with the man of God. Like a tragic-comedy, it went through plot and development before it climaxed to disappearance and eventually separation.

Giving a blow by blow account of how he lost his wife, he said: “Things were going well and we were living in peace until sometimes in September 2012, when she told me she was going for prayer in one of the new generation churches. I couldn’t have stopped her since it was all about God. I welcomed the idea but only cautioned her to always come back home in time because of the children as nobody would look after them in her absence. She adhered to that instruction initially.”

But Mr Isaac did not realise that he had made a costly mistake that would later cost him his blissful marriage. He became suspicious when his wife began to receive late night calls but then, it was too late. “I became uncomfortable with her activities when she started receiving strange calls at odd hours. When I asked her she would say it was her pastor. I expressed my dissatisfaction with any man calling her at such odd hours and even questioned if she had any other thing to do with the pastor outside the normal prayers but she said it was all about prayers. I kept quiet because I didn’t suspect her at that point. I didn’t either stop her from attending the prayer. Meanwhile, we were still attending Sunday Mass in the Catholic Church every Sunday together,” he stated.

Just as Mr Isaac was trying to solve the puzzle of late night calls from the alleged man of God, her wife dropped a bombshell. She said the pastor gave her a seven-day fasting and prayer and she would like to observe it within the precinct of the church to avoid any kind of distraction.

“I allowed her since it was a matter concerning God. Seven days eventually turned to 10 days without seeing her. It was then I called her on phone and she told me she had won a contract to provide a catering service for a church member who was organising a birthday party for her daughter in the church and that she was executing the job. She promised to come back after the event but the 10 days grew to 12 days without seeing her. I called her again and she told me that she had secured employment somewhere. I was confused and I asked her what was wrong with her. I asked her how she could leave her house for such number of days without coming home. I also asked her what she meant by gaining employment. Remember, she started from fasting in the church to getting catering services contract and now to gaining employment; I was confused. I took it as a joke because she is not even educated.

“Meanwhile before now, I had asked her to take me to the church but she told me it was in Egbeda, which was very far from the place of my business then. But, when I suggested going there on Sundays when all of us would be around, she gave one reason or the other just to avoid taking me there. I even demanded for the bulletin of the church but she told me that since she could not read, she had no need of buying one. So, I didn’t know the place until things got out of hand.   

“After she told me that she had secured employment somewhere, I pleaded with her to come home and she came after three days. When she came home, I asked her what the problem was but she said she just wanted to work and she didn’t want to tell me because I would not allow her. She said she would take me to the place at Egbeda when she must have settled down to work. I insisted but she refused and the matter almost resulted in serious disagreement and that was when I started suspecting her movement. But after just two days, she left home again without my knowledge,” he narrated.

How the bubble burst

In the midst of all the confusion, he managed to organise himself and resolved to trace the whereabouts of his wife. He said: “When I called her on phone and she picked, the background voices revealed she was in a restaurant around Ijaiye near Jankara market. One Sunday in November, after mass I traced her to that Ijaiye area. I was going from one restaurant to the other asking after her with her description because she has a prominent facial mark. I didn’t tell anybody she was my wife. I was finally directed to the restaurant she worked. When she saw me, she was shocked and a bottle of beer she was taking to a customer even fell off her hand and broke to pieces. I asked her when Ijaiye turned to Egbeda but she couldn’t talk. She was being used to sell beer; she was ready to go home with any willing man. I told her that she had disappointed me and her children by bringing such shame on us. I told her that if hotel business was what she wanted to do, she could have told me to open one for her instead of selling her body in the name of working for somebody in a restaurant- a married woman at that. I forgave her and took her home that day.”

Second disappearance and last straw

Her disappearance again after two days, according to Issac, was the last straw that broke the camel’s back. She was later discovered to be allegedly living with the same pastor that supposedly gave her a Seven-day fasting and prayer as his wife.

Narrating how he finally lost his wife to the pastor, Isaac said: “After two days again, she left for that restaurant without my knowledge. I traced her to the place and when I found her, I beat her up and that was the beginning of the whole problem. I didn’t know that she had already arranged with the pastor who was already looking for accommodation where both of them would live together thereafter. I later went back to the place with policemen but she was no longer there. I even reported her new character to the Rev Father that wedded us, her family and my own family. When concerned people called her on phone, she told them that she didn’t want to suffer with me because I had no money again. She told them that my money had finished and she would only come back when I revived myself. I later found out that she was living together with the pastor who also left his wife for her. When I called my wife, she bluntly told me to marry a new wife becase she was already living with a new man. On further investigation, I found out that the new man is the pastor. When I called the pastor, he asked me if he came to my house to take my wife. He told me that it was my wife who came to him. He is currently living with my wife in one room apartment in the Jankara area of Agbado-Ijaiye, Ojokoro Local Government Area of Lagos State.”

Isaac, who said he would like to warn all men to be cautious of their wives’ relationship with some men of God to avoid his experience, also said he was still open to dialogue only if his wife would grab the opportunity before it is too late. He said he could take her back if she comes back before one year elapses. “If she comes back before one year elapses, I may take her back but if after one year and she does not come back, I doubt if I could ever take her back as my wife. She has not seen her children since November when she left my house,” he submitted.

Cynthia reacts

Responding to the allegation that she had abandoned her lawful husband for a certain pastor, Cynthia denied living with any pastor saying, “I am not living with any pastor. Na him get his mouth. He can call anybody’s name but I have told you, I am not living with any pastor.”

When prodded further to state what actually transpired between her and Mr Isaac, she said: “I dey respect you because I don’t know you. That man is irresponsible; I don tell am say I no dey marry again; is it by force to marry? Let him leave me alone.”

Commenting about their children, she also said: “My first daughter is with my mother in Edo State but the other three are with him. I communicate with them always and any time I want to see them, I will see them. I don’t want to take them because they are his children. But they are also my children; so any time I want to see them, I will go and see them.”

All efforts by our reporter to speak with the pastor proved abortive. Each time a call was put through to him, he would say it was a wrong number. Even when a text message was sent to him, he kept quiet.